Man pulls off the ultimate Tinder date with strangest advice

Ok so before I start this I just want to put out a warning, like it says in the title this thread is wrote by a guy giving advice to other guys (but girls might find some interesting points as well!!) about picking up girls on an app almost solely based on each others appearances. If you a feminist you probably wont enjoy this article, chances are I’m going to say some pretty misogynistic things but please take this all with a pinch of salt, like the app this isn’t supposed to be taken too seriously and again like the app you never know it might help you get laid, get a girlfriend, hell who am I to say you might not even get married, have kids and live happily ever after, what I’m trying to say is don’t bitch and moan to hell if I offend you. Now the other thing I’d like to mention is that I don’t see myself as some sex god who’s awesome with the Ladies and I can just click my fingers and girls come flocking. I am just a normal guy 24, 5″11, average build, pretty average looking who lives a comfortable life but I have worked in sales since leaving school and have picked up a few sales skills which are very transferable into picking up girls.

Now there are some cold hard facts which I want to put out there which if you can’t handle/live with it’s probably best you just delete tinder now as it’s probably not for you! I’ll go into them in more detail later but for now I’ll just be brief.

*You are not going to match every single girl you swipe right on.

*tinder is an app which can be very buggy. accept it.

*there are not an infinite amount of girls in your age/distance search you will run out (but don’t worry more will come!)

*when you do get a match that doesn’t mean you’re getting laid, the hard work is yet to come

Now if you can accept those facts you are one step closer to meeting the girl of your dreams (maybe). As I have said previously I have worked in sales for a decent amount of time, in that time I have done some door to door work which is very much like tinder as its very high volume with limited results and largely based on initial impressions. There are 3 things that can effect your day when doing D2D these are you Pitch, Pace and your attitude. I’m going to break these down individually to try and explain what each is, how it relates to tinder and how I think you should approach it.


The disadvantage you have with your initial pitch on Tinder is that you have no way of adapting your pitch to different people so your profile has to be the best it can to appeal to as many people as possible. The advantage you have is that you can spend as long as you like perfecting that pitch so that it is spot on every time! So first and most important thing with your profile, Photos, your opening photo has to be a good one, many people will swipe left if the first photo is shit so pick your best and put it at the front. My advice with opening photos is no more than 3 people, not you and another girl who looks like an ex, make sure they can see your face and at least most of your upper body, make sure its not blurred, make sure you look presentable (i’ve found wearing a suit makes girls go weak at the knees), don’t be too drunk/ high and finally don’t look like a knob you might think its hilarious but chances are a girl will think you look like a douche/immature ass hole. I realise that sounds like a lot but remember YOU HAVE TO STAND OUT!!

So thats the 1st photo done now the others. Ideally you want a minimum of 4/5 photos if you have one or two its going to look like you’re an ugly fucker who lucked out on 1 photo so just used that, be honest (ish) the photos dont have to be massively recent (my cover photo is from about 3 years ago, I still look similar but was tanned and a bit trimmer back then!), again avoid big group photos, girls aren’t interested in playing where’s wally (do americans call him waldo??) again no photos of you wasted and no photos of you holding hands/hugging another girl, also I’m not saying pretend to be someone your not but make sure you are clean looking and if you’re hoping to pull the local cheerleader chances are the photo of you sweating your tits off in a mosh pit wearing a slayer top isnt going to help your chances, sorry. So hopefully you have a semi decent collections of pictures now all you have to do is fill in the “about me” section this is your only real chance to put across a sense of character, don’t just put a list of facts ie “tall, blue eyes, i like football” make it fun, make it something people will be intrigued by. One of the best ones I’ve seen which a friend sent me a screen shot of was “so I just got out of prison for stalking a girl I met online, now I’m out looking to meet someone new” which might sound crazy but it shows you have a sense of humour the secret is don’t worry to much about it, try and be witty and if you really can’t think of anything just google “best about me sections tinder” and i’m sure you’ll get something good. Thats about it from the profile side of things, I’m going to touch on Opening lines later so scroll down if you want to see that!


Two parts to this section, firstly the really simple answer, swipe left and right as much as possible, the more you use tinder the more matches you’ll get.

Now the more detailed answer. In terms of pace you can either work smart or work hard. What I mean by that is if you set your searches to 18-50+ and up to 160km you are going to get A LOT of girls to be going at but are you really going to go out with someone twice your age who lives a 3 hour drive away when you have no car!?! be realistic with your search, I have mine set to 20-25 as I cant be arsed to waste my time with girls who chances are I wont be interested in also my search is set to 32km (remember its as the crow flies so even though they’re 32km away that could still easily be hour or more drive, for me I have my own car so am happy with that but if you live in a rural area and don’t have your own car you may want to reduce it! One thing I’ve learnt working in sales is about a thing called Law Of Average in essence it means if you do something enough times you’l start to find that you will get result x every y number of trials in tinders case thats how many times you will have to swipe right before you get a match, if you have 5 photos of you looking ripped chilling in supercars/on yachts/in a beach house you will probably get a LOA of about 1 in 2 (us mere mortals can only dream and if this is you stop reading this there is nothing I can do for you) however if you’re like me it will probably be more along the lines of 1 in 30-50+ (remember that you have to give the girls time to swipe you as well, dont swipe 200 girls right at 3am on a tuesday and then complain you have no matches as most of the girls are sleeping give it a chance!), if you don’t take any advice on here and have one blurry photo of you where you cant see your face and your about me says “hey” you will probably match 1 in 1000+ photos (sorry guys but girls are shallow! Especially those on tinder!). Now at this point I should probably bring up one of the most annoying things about tinder which is the screen which we all know and love “there is no one new in your area” day in day out people post about this in this subreddit, like I said before though tinder is an app it has bugs in it, get over it. I will say though that it has improved recently and if you do get this I find if you hit the apple button twice and close the program when it reboots it often loads more girls (if you have android do similar). In terms of who to swipe left and right like with narrowing your search dont be afraid to be picky, yes it will take longer and you will have to search through more girls but what is the point in swiping right on a girl who you can’t imagine going out on a date with, I know loads of guys who have hundreds of match but barely speak to any because they don’t think theyre hot, I find this balmy! it just clogs up your search list of girls who are actually hot, so take a little longer, be picky, narrow your search and swipe, swipe, swipe!!!


What this section is basically about is the mind set you have whilst searching if you think “she’s so hot, she would never swipe right on me, so I will swipe left on her” you are actually mental. The whole thing about tinder is you can say “I think you’re hot do you think I’m hot” to every girl you see without the awkwardness/embarrassment of them saying no! The other thing that attitude covers is the fact that you are going to get NOs, they maybe a short No, they could be a long No, they could be a fuck off No they could be a “it’s not you it’s me” No. Basically for you to go from starting to use tinder to getting laid/a girlfriend you are going to have to take a lot of negatives! Again the advantage of tinder though is that a lot of the negatives aren’t in your face which definitely helps!

So they are the main 3 factors you can control whilst searching for the girl of your dreams on this wonderful platform we all know and love so what next? Well what next is the moment we’ve all been waiting for!!


Whoop whoop, so you swipe right on a girl and your phone buzzes/bleeps and you realise you have your first match!! Now comes the hard part, I always wait a while, normally till the evening if I get a match through the day or the next morning if it happens at night, it sounds lame but its the old play it cool thing. So you’ve waited 12 or so hours and she’s not made the 1st move (rarely happens but when it does its a godsend) you have probably the most difficult task of this whole process, it can bring grown men to there knees but you must rise up to the challenge, remember all the other guys of tinder are rooting for you! All you have to do is make the first comment, THE OPENING LINE!!! I’ll be honest this is a skill all of it’s own, it wouldnt surprise me if some psychology student doesn’t write a pHD in this, for now though we will have to stick to what we know,


*chat up line


*comment on her profile

This thread is long enough without me blabbing on about opening lines to much and I’ll be honest this is taking a lot longer than I thought it would to type, in fact if anyones still reading this well done, i’m impressed but anyway, where was I, in brief you want your opening line to not be too serious, be witty and ideally not to creepy! if you’re really stuck my stock opener is “so whats your preferred opening line? Joke? Cheesy chat up line? compliment? Let me know as I’d hate to get off on the wrong foot!” it doesnt always work but its better than just “hey”. oh and when they say I want a joke/chat up line/compliment just google one, its a lot easier!

Now assuming you got some matches, used some opening lines and got chatting the 2 next obstacles are getting a phone number and getting a date.

Phone Number

The 2 easiest ways of getting a number are firstly lead the conversation to where someone has to send a photo (not like that you perv) something like this her “I’ve been shopping all weekend” you “buy anything nice?” her “yeah a new dress” you “sounds nice send me a photo” her “Ok whats your number?”

Boom winner. Again takes a bit of skill but is easy enough. If you’re not that confidant though try this trick, send each message twice, as in type it, copy text, click send, paste text, click send. Do this every time apologising saying your tinder messenger keeps fucking up then after a few times just say “I’m really sorry it keeps doing it, look, can I be really forward and just ask your number?” if she says yes bingo, if she says no at least you saved time!

getting a date

this is what we all downloaded tinder for, the big moment, you’ve matched with a girl, used an opening line she’s responded to, you’ve chatted for a day or two and now it’s time to take it to the next step. When it comes to this point there are a few things to remember

*you have both agreed you like each other from a physical point of view

*you have got some similar interests (assuming you haven’t been talking about the weather for past few days)(unless you are both meteorologists in which case fair play!)

*girls dig confident guys

*fuck it, chances are you’ve never met this girl and never will, you have NOTHING to lose!

So how do you ask a girl out on a date on tinder. Personally I try and pre-empt the negatives casually ask her if she’s got anything planned for the weekend (this way she cant say sorry I’m busy cos she’s told you she’s free), work out what scene she’s into and where she normally goes out, if she a metal head who loves moshing dont ask her out to your favourite indy bar. Chances are if you’ve been chatting you will have similar interests so do something you’ll both enjoy, if she’s into football take her to a match, if she loves history go to a museum, if she loves films do the cinema (personally I think this is a shit idea as sitting in silence for 2 hours with someone you don’t know I find really awkward! but each to their own!) what I’m saying is think outside the square if she’s hot chances are other guys she’s met on tinder have already taken her out so you need to do something different, again its about standing out! So once you have established she has no plans, you’ve thought of something cool to do and you both seem to be chatting this is what you say “hey so I was thinking, do you want to head to X on Yday? then if its museum or something follow it up with there’s an interesting exhibit, if its to see a band follow with I hear they’re really good and my friend has 2 spare tickets (only say that if you do have a friend who is willing to go then stand on his own whilst you work your charm!), if its football say it should be a good match etc just something which will make her think there’s more reason you want to go than just to get into her pants (which lets face it is the goal). this has taken about 2 hours to write so far so if she says no your on your own.

So I hope that helps, I apologise for all the spelling and grammatical errors also I really couldn’t be arsed to proof read it so if any bits don’t make sense let me know and I’ll edit it tomorrow or whenever. Also if you did read the whole of this, I hope it helped, if not I hope parts made you smile, if not sorry you’ve just wasted a whole chunk of your life, My Bad.

if you want to be successful on tinder have good photos, swipe loads, have good chat, be confident

nainen voittaa miljoonan dollarin talon $ 2 huutokaupassa

nainen voittaa miljoonan dollarin talon $ 2 huutokaupassa

Isä, joka kamppailee myymään £ 650k: n kuusikymmentä kartanoa, pudottaa sen 2 punnalla

Dieser verrückte Internet-Millionär verkauft seinen Bugatti Veyron für 20 Euro!

Agen real estat Chelsea Ed Bezzant – menjalani kehidupan yang sangat mewah.

Teman dekat bintang Made in Chelsea Sam Thompson tinggal di London, dan berbagi foto mobil, pakaian, dan jam tangannya yang mahal serta benturan perjalanan dan pesta yang boros.

Sekarang, sepertinya Bezzant telah menemukan apa yang bisa menjadi cara jenius untuk menghasilkan uang ekstra.

Menurut sebuah pos Instagram, dia mengundi 2.500 tiket seharga £ 20 masing-masing untuk mendapatkan kesempatan untuk memenangkan Bugatti Veyron-nya.

Meskipun ini mungkin tampak seperti mencuri – dan peluang bagus – untuk mobil yang mahal, jika dia menjual semua tiket, dia akan menghasilkan £ 50.000 – lebih tinggi dari harga eceran Veyron ($ 2,998,00) baru yang direkomendasikan, edisi terbaru Dari mobil

Bezzant mengatakan kepada Business Insider bahwa dia menjual tiket melalui Eventbrite, meskipun pos Instagram asli menyatakan: “Menjual Bugatti saya seharga £ 20 – saya menjual 2500 undian tiket melalui DM undian akan berlangsung begitu semua 2.500 terjual dan saya akan menempatkannya. setiap entri masuk ke undian live instagram – ini 100% asli dan seseorang akan masuk melalui surat kabar ke mobil jika mereka dipetik, Anda dapat membeli sebanyak mungkin entri yang Anda inginkan semuanya akan dikonfirmasi melalui email dan juga bagaimana cara melakukannya. membayar. Ayo mulai permainan.”

Bezzant mengatakan kepada Business Insider bahwa kontes tersebut “sebagian untuk membeli mobil baru tapi alasan utama mengapa saya harus menikah tahun depan dan harus memberinya satu hari untuk diingat.”

Roger Federer surprises kids at the children’s hospital in Basel

Roger Federer surprises kids at the children’s hospital in Basel

For Roger Federer, this April this means much relax with his family as he won’t compete again until Roland Garros, and it’s the chance especially to have a bigger role in the charity. After the Match for Africa 3 that allowed to earn 1.3 million euros from tickets sold that will go to the Roger Fedeer Foundation, the World No. 4, who will play another exhibition match on 29 April in Seattle with John Isner and Bill Gates, decided, in cooperation with his sponsor Lindt, to prepare a surprise for kids at the children’s hospital in his home town of Basel, in order to wish them happy Easter bringing as a gift a nice Gold Bunny. It was Lindt to start this project, organizing special Easter events in 10 Children’s Hospital in Switzerland. In total, the chocolate maker gave 8.000 Gold Bunnies and donated 74,000 dollars for individual projects that they made. Federer definitely donated an important amount of money of course, but at the moment details about have not been revealed. Here is the video of Roger with kids, who were very emotional as you can see here below:

ALSO READ: Roger Federer about not playing until late May: ‘In Dubai I realized that I needed to take a break’

The Cat Who Was Trapped And Terrified On The Field During a Miami Marlins Baseball Game Has A New Home

The Cat Who Was Trapped And Terrified On The Field During a Miami Marlins Baseball Game Has A New Home

The nation was transfixed earlier this week by Marlins Cat, the feral monster that broke into Marlins Park and attempted to eat the monstrous 20-foot spinning ceramic swordfish in center field. Play was stopped while officials chased the beast down, and order was restored.
But, say, whatever happened to the cat?

Awesome. Best of luck, my feathered friend.
Here is my advice to everyone reading: If you absolutely must adopt a feral cat, please give us continual updates about how it is ruining your clothes/furniture/sanity. It takes an indescribable amount of patience to un-feral a cat — as much as that’s even possible — and it’s certainly not for everyone.
However, this is Marlins Cat, and he or she deserves this home. Good work turning a trespassing violation into free food for the rest of your life, cat. You are an inspiration.
and i’m still pretty sure it should be named j.t. rrrrrowlmuto

(h/t The Comeback)

Nurses grant dying man final wish: a cigarette and glass of wine watching the sunset

Nurses grant dying man final wish: a cigarette and glass of wine watching the sunset

A man has been granted his dying wish of a cigarette and a glass of white wine by staff at a hospital in Denmark.

According to a post on the hospital’s Facebook page, Carsten Flemming Hansen, 75, was found to be terminally ill after he was admitted to hospital with an aortic aneurysm and internal bleeding.

Predicting it would be a matter of hours or days before Hansen died, the hospital decided not to operate and instead granted the patient a “dignified” death.

The nurses at Aarhus University hospital decided to defy regulations that stipulated no smoking on the hospital’s grounds and wheeled Hansen out on to a balcony where he smoked a Green LA cigarette and drank a glass of cold white wine while watching the sunset with his family.

In its Facebook post, the hospital said the nurses in Hansen’s ward and his family agreed that in this situation, his last wishes were more important than treatment, prevention and smoking rules.

“It was a very cosy and relaxed atmosphere,” said nurse Rikke Kvist. “Of course there were relatives also affected by the fact he was going to die, and they were sad,” she said.

The hospital’s Facebook post has received almost 70,000 likes, more than 4,500 shares and thousands of comments.

Tiny, family-run Iowa newspaper wins Pulitzer for taking on agriculture companies

Tiny, family-run Iowa newspaper wins Pulitzer for taking on agriculture companies

A small-town Iowa newspaper with a staff of 10 people – most of whom are related to each other – has won a Pulitzer Prize for taking on powerful agricultural companies over farm pollution.

Art Cullen, who owns the Storm Lake Times with his brother John, acknowledged it wasn’t easy taking on agriculture in a state like Iowa where you see hundreds of miles of farm fields in every direction. The Cullens lost a few friends and a few advertisers, but never doubted they were doing the right thing.

“We’re here to challenge people’s assumptions and I think that’s what every good newspaper should do,” he said.

Among the other staff members at the Storm Lake Times is John Cullen’s wife Mary, Art’s wife Dolores and their son, Tom. The family’s dog, Mabel also hangs out at the newspaper offices most of the time, Poynter reports.

Cullen’s writing was lauded by the Pulitzer committee for “editorials fuelled by tenacious reporting, impressive expertise and engaging writing that successfully challenged powerful corporate agricultural interests in Iowa”.

As well as hard-hitting news and editorials, the paper also includes local stories. On Monday, a front-page story told of how a second-grader found a four-leaf clover in the field behind her school.

Cullen told the Washington Post that he knows what readers like. “We strive to have a baby, a dog, a fire and a crash on every front page, so, yes, we do pander,” he said.

But it was the paper’s dogged coverage of farming issues affecting the state that won them the coveted journalism prize.

Buena Vista county, where the 3,000-circulation, twice-weekly newspaper is based in north-west Iowa, was one of three counties sued by Des Moines Water Works for allowing too much nitrogen to be released through farm drainage systems into rivers from which the utility draws its drinking water. The counties fought the federal lawsuit using money provided by undisclosed sources.

The newspaper worked with the Iowa Freedom of Information Council to force the release of documents showing funding came from the Farm Bureau and other agricultural groups.

“Anyone with eyes and a nose knows in his gut that Iowa has the dirtiest surface water in America,” Cullen wrote in a March 2016 editorial.

“It is choking the waterworks and the Gulf of Mexico. It is causing oxygen deprivation in Northwest Iowa glacial lakes. It has caused us to spend millions upon millions trying to clean up Storm Lake, the victim of more than a century of explosive soil erosion.”

Cullen, 59, says he feels vindicated that the information was released.

A judge, however, dismissed the water utility’s lawsuit last month, giving the farm groups and counties a clear victory.

Cullen is proud that the Pulitzer committee recognised his small newspaper’s efforts alongside those of larger papers. The two other finalists in the editorial writing category were from the Houston Chronicle and The Washington Post.

“We’ve always believed that the Storm Lakes Times should be as good at covering Storm Lake as the New York Times is at covering New York,” he said. “There’s no reason why an editorial written in Iowa shouldn’t be as good as an editorial written in Washington.”

Associated Press contributed to this report

Ontario man, giving home away for free, paying the cost of food and vet bills, to ensure his animals are taken care of properly.

Ontario man, giving home away for free, paying the cost of food and vet bills, to ensure his animals are taken care of properly.

A Smith Falls, Ontario man has a very interesting reason as to why he wants to give away all of his farm and land.

Sunday, April 9, 2017, 5:57 PM – This is the kind of offer you can’t refuse.

Stephen Overbury is giving away his waterfront farm, including four barns, a 1830s beautiful stone home, some equipment and a vehicle, “ABSOLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE,” according to a Kijiji ad he posted earlier this week.

The 62-year-old’s farm is located near Smiths Falls in eastern Ontario. Overbury is looking for the perfect person to take over his humble abode as he is planning on moving back to Japan where he lived for about 15 years, according to CBC.

Why has he decided to give away his fortune instead of selling it?

SPRING IS HERE: With La Niña helping shape global patterns what will Canadians expect from spring? Find out with The Weather Network’s 2017 Spring Forecast | FORECAST & MAPS HERE

“[Selling] is conventional thinking, the prudent way of thinking about yourself and what’s best for yourself,” Overbury told the news agency. “By selling the farm, first I’d have to dispose of the animals. And a number of them are older, and a few are special-needs. And that’s what I call reckless abandonment.”

Here’s the catch: you have to be an animal lover and not afraid to get your hands dirty.

Overbury will pay the cost of food and vet bills for the array of animals on the farm including, cows, chickens, ducks and sheep, according to CBC.

“The catch for assuming usage of this stellar property, make no mistake about it, is HARD WORK and total COMMITMENT to making use of the property and showing a genuine interest in animal welfare,” the ad reads. “Here, no animal is killed. I am vegan oriented but you need not to be of course as long as you live and let live. And THINK GREEN.”

While the farmer briefly looked into relocating his animals, he told CBC that it would take “decades” to find the right home for each one.

Overbury has received hundreds of offers so far, the news agency reports.

If he can’t find the perfect candidate, Overbury plans on staying in Ontario. However, he has high hopes that the right person will come along.

“It’s not a matter of giving [the land] up,” he told CBC. “I never had it, as such. We’re but custodians of real estate, [which] is my philosophy, my own personal philosophy,” Overbury added.

“And I know that somebody else coming in, that’s the right fit, will treat the animals with compassion — and I’ll benefit from that comfort.”

You May Also

Tomahawk maker’s stock Raytheon rises after U.S. launches missiles against Syria

Tomahawk maker’s stock Raytheon rises after U.S. launches missiles against Syria

Raytheon, the company that makes the Tomahawk missiles used in the air strikes on Syria by the United States, is rising in early stock trading Friday. Investors seem to be betting President Trump’s decision to retaliate against Syria after the chemical attack on Syrian citizens earlier this week may mean the Pentagon will need more Tomahawks.
The Department of Defense asked for $2 billion over five years to buy 4,000 Tomahawks for the U.S. Navy in its fiscal 2017 budget last February. Nearly five dozen Tomahawk cruise missiles were launched at military bases in Syria from U.S. warships in the Mediterranean Sea late Thursday. Raytheon (RTN) wasn’t the only defense stock rising Friday either. Lockheed Martin (LMT), which partners with Raytheon on the Javelin missile launcher system and also makes Hellfire missiles, gained nearly 1%. Related: Trump’s Syria air strike is a warning for Wall Street too Defense stocks General Dynamics (GD) and Northrop Grumman (NOC) also rallied Friday, a day when the broader market was flat due to a mixed U.S. jobs report. It’s unclear whether President Trump and his Defense Secretary James Mattis will ask for a lot more money for Tomahawks once they officially submit a fiscal 2018 budget request. But Trump said in his preliminary budget blueprint last month that a broad increase in defense spending was needed. A sizable chunk of that was earmarked for upgrading warships, fighter planes and missiles. And Republican Senator John McCain, who is also chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee, said in a proposed defense budget that he published in late January that it was critical to invest even more on advanced missile technology. Related: Oil prices jump after U.S. missile strike on Syria So it should come as no surprise that defense stocks are among the top performers on Wall Street not just on Friday, but for all of this year. The SPDR SP Aerospace Defense ETF (XAR) has outperformed the SP 500 so far. And shares of Boeing (BA) are up 14%, making it the second-best stock in the Dow, trailing only Apple (AAPL, Tech30). CNNMoney (New York) First published April 7, 2017: 10:59 AM ET

this young Aboriginal man dreams of becoming a Kakadu ranger, like his grandfather. But to become the strong leader his family sees in him, he’s leaving his beloved homeland behind.

this young Aboriginal man dreams of becoming a Kakadu ranger, like his grandfather. But to become the strong leader his family sees in him, he’s leaving his beloved homeland behind.

Junior Dirdi dreams of becoming a Kakadu ranger, like his grandfather. But to become the strong Aboriginal leader his family sees in him, he’s leaving his beloved homeland behind.

“You see that big rock?” Junior Dirdi points from the 4WD as it makes its way along the rugged dirt road, paving the way through croc-infested wetlands.

“That’s the dog with three legs. There were two dogs, one broke her leg and went back there.”

This majestic escarpment country filled with ancient dreaming stories has the ability to make outsiders feel as if they’re in another world. Or a movie set. Quite literally.

“In Crocodile Dundee, you know when he says ‘you should’ve brought a gun instead of a beer mate’? ” Junior says with a grin.

“And then he says ‘I don’t need a gun, I’ve got a donk’. That’s here at Red Lily.”

The 1986 blockbuster film follows an Australian bushman on a journey to New York, playing on the colossal contrasts between life in the outback and the big smoke.

Junior Dirdi will spend his formative years navigating between these two ways of life.

At just 13, he’s leaving behind his home in this remote community on the border of the Kakadu National Park, in search of a better education on the opposite side of the country.

He’ll board at one of Melbourne’s most elite colleges, 3,800 kilometres from the only life he’s ever known.

Walking between these two worlds will not be easy. It never has been. It’s a path marked with a dark historical strain, and Junior can expect confusion, emotion, sacrifice. After all, this is not a Hollywood movie script.

But Junior’s parents believe school in Melbourne will help him grow into a leader, able to straddle modern Australia while keeping his ancient culture alive.

His mum Darlene Wauchope hopes new horizons will let her boy soar.

When you first meet Junior, he’s quiet and shy. Once he warms up, he’s a little cheeky.

Often he’ll disappear, like the time we chartered a flight to visit him and he was nowhere to be found.

Within half an hour it gets back that he’s at ‘little waterfall’, an idyllic swimming hole just out of town which offers relief from the hot air, so humid that sweat patches quickly fade into head-to-toe dampness.

There are no crocodiles here, he assures. Let’s just pretend one wasn’t found in this exact spot a few weeks later.

The vividness of these burning reds and lush greens set against moody monsoonal storm clouds will stay with you a long time after you leave.

For Junior, the country is imprinted on his soul.

This is Gunbalanya, also known as Oenpelli, a former mission site located in West Arnhem Land.

The settlement is encompassed by the Arnhem plateau, a sandstone refuge for many endangered species.

With a fluctuating population of about 1,200, many different clan groups live in Oenpelli and several nearby outstations.

Visitors are required to apply for permits to cross into this territory. It’s currently wet season, which means residents are pretty much cut off from the outside world.

At the moment the only way into town is via charter flight, which often means a nervous ride cutting through turbulent clouds.

It takes a good couple of days to settle into West Arnhem’s slow pace of life.

As soon as Junior gets out of town, his free spirit shines.

He transforms from a coy teenager into a strong and proud young man.

He and his five brothers and sisters know how to look out for each other as they confidently plunge into waterholes and scramble barefoot up cliffs to search for bush tucker.

Just last year Junior had his first initiation ceremony.

It’s men’s business, so he’s not allowed to talk about it, but it’s a chance for teenagers to prove themselves ready for manhood in front of their fathers and uncles.

“It turns young boys into men,” Junior says.

But fast-forward a couple of weeks, from the banks of the golden billabong where Junior likes to hunt for magpie geese, to Flinders Street Station, one of the busiest spots in Melbourne’s CBD, and it’s like observing a completely different kid.

There’s an obvious nervous edge to his demeanour in the hustle of peak-hour rush.

Less of the man, more of the boy. He’s still finding his place here.

It’s hard not to feel overwhelmed on Junior’s behalf.

He’ll spend the next five years at Trinity Grammar boarding school as part of a scholarship.

But his charisma means he’s had no problem making friends.

With the help of Indigenous mentors, he’s starting to settle in to year eight.

“Coming from Darwin myself, I understand the homesickness and being away from family and being away from your community,” his mentor, Kelvin Williams says.

“It’s really impressive to see these boys and the character that they show to come down here and continue to want to improve their education.”

Different is an understatement. To begin with, there are the very obvious adaptations that smack you in the face as hard as a frosty Melbourne chill.

“It’s funny weather; it changes. Like, one day it’ll be hot, the next day it’ll be cold, and then another it’ll be windy, rainy,” Junior says.

“It’s very different. Seeing a whole lot of new people, traffic, lots of cars, lots of big buildings.”

And if those differences aren’t big enough, try transporting a kid from the bush into the almost alien environment of an elite private school, walls clad with accolades from former students turned barristers, prolific authors and sport stars.

There are many nuances that wouldn’t seem like such a big deal without getting an understanding of Junior’s Gunbalanya life.

“Here we have to put on a blazer, grey socks,” Junior says. “It takes a lot longer to get ready to come to school.”

Or getting a detention for not having his diary signed. He didn’t have a diary in the Top End.

But by far, the freedom to roam is his biggest adjustment.

Most of his school holidays in Gunbalanya are spent fixing quad bikes with friends, or splashing around in streams with family.

There are no assigned supervisors, but admired elders and a collective community that helps rear the children.

There are no fences restricting movement, rather an encouragement to explore and respect the land.

And there are very few rules set by institutions, governing things like appearance, dress and curfews.

The same can’t be said for Trinity Grammar.

“Back at home, if we want to swim, we go down to the pool. But at the boarding house we’ve got to have one of the tutors there watching us,” Junior says.

“The bush is like my playground. I miss it. Fishing, hunting.”

There’s a long journey ahead, but Junior is confident the path will lead him back home.

Darlene’s father James Wauchope was one of the first rangers at Kakadu National Park.

His grandfather is now in aged care but has a lasting legacy in the world heritage site, and with his grandson, who shares his connection to country.

“I spent a lot of time with him. He taught me country and lands,” Junior says.

But his family came from around the Alice Springs area, before he was taken as part of the Stolen Generations and put in an orphanage.

“We’re not originally from the countries that we take care of,” Darlene says.

Her brothers are also rangers.

“We’re originally from Alice Springs or part of Croker [Island], but we love being rangers, and this side of NT, north-west Arnhem Land it’s just lovely,” she says.

“It’s a family thing, it’s a tradition that really died out until Junior popped along.

“[So] it’s really awesome.”

When asked where he pictures himself in 15 years, Junior takes time to consider his answer.

“Probably in a chopper, in Kakadu,” he says. “Shooting feral animals.”

As the sun rises over the tranquil wetlands, a quiet morning turns into a sleepy day in Gunbalanya

Many locals load up their cars and head out bush.

Junior’s family packs lunch for a fishing trip, piles into the troop-carrier and makes their way towards looming clouds above Coopers Creek.

English is often a second language here, but when everyone’s together in the Dirdi household that’s how they communicate, because Darlene and Junior’s dad Kingswood, his namesake, speak different languages.

During play, the children speak Kingswood’s tongue Kunwinjku, the main language around here.

Along the bumpy ride, Junior explains how the river divides country governed by traditional owners.

This is knowledge that’s been passed down by his grandfather, and during the ‘Junior Ranger’ bush program, run for young people in the community.

“This is Gumurdul’s country, but at the freeway it cuts off,” he says.

“On the other side of the river, that’s belongs to Nayingul.”

These are powerful families in the community.

It’s respectful for people doing business in the area to visit elders during their stay.

When the 4WD pulls up at Coopers Creek, elder Adrian Gumurdul and his family are already there fishing and cooking a wild pig.

Adrian Gumurdul is proud to hear about Junior’s plans.

“Junior is my grandson, you know,” he says.

Adrian’s a relative on Kingswood’s side of the family, but as part of their kinship system he is considered Junior’s grandfather.

“I’m a bit happy myself, because his mother came down to tell me about Junior going to go and tell a story about being a ranger.”

It’s refreshing for the traditional owner, who’s scared that what is left of their 40,000-year-old culture may soon be completely lost.

“Because older people, they might pass away and we’ve got young people to do the job.

“All the family would be proud for that.”

As he prepares the meat for an earth oven pit beneath the soil, Adrian laments that local young people tend to be more interested in hip hop music than traditional song and dance.

“They want to go to the disco,” he says. “That’s the problem, we want to get young boys involved in culture more.

As close as culture and country may be to his heart, the elder doesn’t want youngsters in the community to close themselves off from the outside world.

In fact, he encourages the opposite.

Junior’s goal to be a park ranger could be pursued through a land management course in Darwin, and through education pathways at the local school.

But Adrian Gumurdul welcomes Junior living down south and returning with new ideas and inspiration.

Junior has mixed emotions as he boards the plane from Darwin, knowing it’ll be a couple of months before he sees his siblings and cousins again.

As hard as it may be to see him venture so far away from home, Darlene and Kingswood have big dreams for their boy.

There are no pressures for him to become a doctor or a lawyer, or to be at the top of his class.

Their wish is that a better education and more diverse social experiences will give him the foundations to walk confidently in both worlds.

“When you’re in a remote community, there’s not much you can do but footy,” Darlene says.

Darlene encourages his dreams to be a park ranger, but believes the opportunity to study in Melbourne means he could choose to move beyond that role one day, maybe even representing the land alongside Kakadu’s traditional owners.

“He doesn’t [just] want to be a ranger, he actually wants to be a part and maybe [help] run the park one day.

And he’s keen for his offspring to step up as advocates for his people and their culture.

After all, the voices of First Australians tend to be silenced by waves of political rhetoric.

“Dealing with funding, budgeting and housing or roads, infrastructure. We’d love to be able to see young kids such as Junior be able to get up there and talk for their home,” Kingswood says.

Junior’s strength of character is the reason he was chosen for a new education program that helps bush kids make the step to big city schools.

MITS (Melbourne Indigenous Transition School) brings 22 Aboriginal students from around Australia to their Melbourne boarding house, and spends 12 months helping to prepare them for mainstream education.

It then helps place them with different private schools that offer scholarships.

Now in its second year, MITS aims to bridge the gap between remote and capital city standards, executive officer Edward Tudor says.

“Often a step from a home community to a big Melbourne school was just too great,” he says.

“Each of the students at MITS has the innate capability to go well at school, but sometimes they haven’t had the opportunity to really soar academically.”

MITS was founded by Edward’s parents, veterinarian Liz Tudor and Rick Tudor, the former headmaster of Trinity where Junior now goes to school.

Both of them have spent a lot of time in Indigenous communities, including Gunbalanya.

Edward says they noticed an increasing demand for greater opportunities.

The high school back in Gunbalanya just celebrated its own success, with the largest number of students having ever graduated from a Northern Territory community school.

But there’s still a long way to go.

According to the latest Closing the Gap report, about 62 per cent of Indigenous students finished year 12 or equivalent. And that figure is just 42 per cent in remote areas, compared with 86 per cent of non-Indigenous Australians.

An extra 31,300 Aboriginal students will need to complete year 12 by 2020 to meet the Government’s own target to halve the gap.

Boarding school is likely to play a large part in that.

Last year about 3,400 Indigenous children attended boarding school around the country.

It’s almost school holidays and like many of the kids boarding around the country, Junior is preparing to return to his family.

He can almost feel the humidity on his skin, the magpie goose melting in his mouth, and the freedom available to the eagle above the billabong.

Darlene and Kingswood hope that over the next few years their boy finds his wings. And one day flies back home.