Man pulls off the ultimate Tinder date with strangest advice

Ok so before I start this I just want to put out a warning, like it says in the title this thread is wrote by a guy giving advice to other guys (but girls might find some interesting points as well!!) about picking up girls on an app almost solely based on each others appearances. If you a feminist you probably wont enjoy this article, chances are I’m going to say some pretty misogynistic things but please take this all with a pinch of salt, like the app this isn’t supposed to be taken too seriously and again like the app you never know it might help you get laid, get a girlfriend, hell who am I to say you might not even get married, have kids and live happily ever after, what I’m trying to say is don’t bitch and moan to hell if I offend you. Now the other thing I’d like to mention is that I don’t see myself as some sex god who’s awesome with the Ladies and I can just click my fingers and girls come flocking. I am just a normal guy 24, 5″11, average build, pretty average looking who lives a comfortable life but I have worked in sales since leaving school and have picked up a few sales skills which are very transferable into picking up girls.

Now there are some cold hard facts which I want to put out there which if you can’t handle/live with it’s probably best you just delete tinder now as it’s probably not for you! I’ll go into them in more detail later but for now I’ll just be brief.

*You are not going to match every single girl you swipe right on.

*tinder is an app which can be very buggy. accept it.

*there are not an infinite amount of girls in your age/distance search you will run out (but don’t worry more will come!)

*when you do get a match that doesn’t mean you’re getting laid, the hard work is yet to come

Now if you can accept those facts you are one step closer to meeting the girl of your dreams (maybe). As I have said previously I have worked in sales for a decent amount of time, in that time I have done some door to door work which is very much like tinder as its very high volume with limited results and largely based on initial impressions. There are 3 things that can effect your day when doing D2D these are you Pitch, Pace and your attitude. I’m going to break these down individually to try and explain what each is, how it relates to tinder and how I think you should approach it.


The disadvantage you have with your initial pitch on Tinder is that you have no way of adapting your pitch to different people so your profile has to be the best it can to appeal to as many people as possible. The advantage you have is that you can spend as long as you like perfecting that pitch so that it is spot on every time! So first and most important thing with your profile, Photos, your opening photo has to be a good one, many people will swipe left if the first photo is shit so pick your best and put it at the front. My advice with opening photos is no more than 3 people, not you and another girl who looks like an ex, make sure they can see your face and at least most of your upper body, make sure its not blurred, make sure you look presentable (i’ve found wearing a suit makes girls go weak at the knees), don’t be too drunk/ high and finally don’t look like a knob you might think its hilarious but chances are a girl will think you look like a douche/immature ass hole. I realise that sounds like a lot but remember YOU HAVE TO STAND OUT!!

So thats the 1st photo done now the others. Ideally you want a minimum of 4/5 photos if you have one or two its going to look like you’re an ugly fucker who lucked out on 1 photo so just used that, be honest (ish) the photos dont have to be massively recent (my cover photo is from about 3 years ago, I still look similar but was tanned and a bit trimmer back then!), again avoid big group photos, girls aren’t interested in playing where’s wally (do americans call him waldo??) again no photos of you wasted and no photos of you holding hands/hugging another girl, also I’m not saying pretend to be someone your not but make sure you are clean looking and if you’re hoping to pull the local cheerleader chances are the photo of you sweating your tits off in a mosh pit wearing a slayer top isnt going to help your chances, sorry. So hopefully you have a semi decent collections of pictures now all you have to do is fill in the “about me” section this is your only real chance to put across a sense of character, don’t just put a list of facts ie “tall, blue eyes, i like football” make it fun, make it something people will be intrigued by. One of the best ones I’ve seen which a friend sent me a screen shot of was “so I just got out of prison for stalking a girl I met online, now I’m out looking to meet someone new” which might sound crazy but it shows you have a sense of humour the secret is don’t worry to much about it, try and be witty and if you really can’t think of anything just google “best about me sections tinder” and i’m sure you’ll get something good. Thats about it from the profile side of things, I’m going to touch on Opening lines later so scroll down if you want to see that!


Two parts to this section, firstly the really simple answer, swipe left and right as much as possible, the more you use tinder the more matches you’ll get.

Now the more detailed answer. In terms of pace you can either work smart or work hard. What I mean by that is if you set your searches to 18-50+ and up to 160km you are going to get A LOT of girls to be going at but are you really going to go out with someone twice your age who lives a 3 hour drive away when you have no car!?! be realistic with your search, I have mine set to 20-25 as I cant be arsed to waste my time with girls who chances are I wont be interested in also my search is set to 32km (remember its as the crow flies so even though they’re 32km away that could still easily be hour or more drive, for me I have my own car so am happy with that but if you live in a rural area and don’t have your own car you may want to reduce it! One thing I’ve learnt working in sales is about a thing called Law Of Average in essence it means if you do something enough times you’l start to find that you will get result x every y number of trials in tinders case thats how many times you will have to swipe right before you get a match, if you have 5 photos of you looking ripped chilling in supercars/on yachts/in a beach house you will probably get a LOA of about 1 in 2 (us mere mortals can only dream and if this is you stop reading this there is nothing I can do for you) however if you’re like me it will probably be more along the lines of 1 in 30-50+ (remember that you have to give the girls time to swipe you as well, dont swipe 200 girls right at 3am on a tuesday and then complain you have no matches as most of the girls are sleeping give it a chance!), if you don’t take any advice on here and have one blurry photo of you where you cant see your face and your about me says “hey” you will probably match 1 in 1000+ photos (sorry guys but girls are shallow! Especially those on tinder!). Now at this point I should probably bring up one of the most annoying things about tinder which is the screen which we all know and love “there is no one new in your area” day in day out people post about this in this subreddit, like I said before though tinder is an app it has bugs in it, get over it. I will say though that it has improved recently and if you do get this I find if you hit the apple button twice and close the program when it reboots it often loads more girls (if you have android do similar). In terms of who to swipe left and right like with narrowing your search dont be afraid to be picky, yes it will take longer and you will have to search through more girls but what is the point in swiping right on a girl who you can’t imagine going out on a date with, I know loads of guys who have hundreds of match but barely speak to any because they don’t think theyre hot, I find this balmy! it just clogs up your search list of girls who are actually hot, so take a little longer, be picky, narrow your search and swipe, swipe, swipe!!!


What this section is basically about is the mind set you have whilst searching if you think “she’s so hot, she would never swipe right on me, so I will swipe left on her” you are actually mental. The whole thing about tinder is you can say “I think you’re hot do you think I’m hot” to every girl you see without the awkwardness/embarrassment of them saying no! The other thing that attitude covers is the fact that you are going to get NOs, they maybe a short No, they could be a long No, they could be a fuck off No they could be a “it’s not you it’s me” No. Basically for you to go from starting to use tinder to getting laid/a girlfriend you are going to have to take a lot of negatives! Again the advantage of tinder though is that a lot of the negatives aren’t in your face which definitely helps!

So they are the main 3 factors you can control whilst searching for the girl of your dreams on this wonderful platform we all know and love so what next? Well what next is the moment we’ve all been waiting for!!


Whoop whoop, so you swipe right on a girl and your phone buzzes/bleeps and you realise you have your first match!! Now comes the hard part, I always wait a while, normally till the evening if I get a match through the day or the next morning if it happens at night, it sounds lame but its the old play it cool thing. So you’ve waited 12 or so hours and she’s not made the 1st move (rarely happens but when it does its a godsend) you have probably the most difficult task of this whole process, it can bring grown men to there knees but you must rise up to the challenge, remember all the other guys of tinder are rooting for you! All you have to do is make the first comment, THE OPENING LINE!!! I’ll be honest this is a skill all of it’s own, it wouldnt surprise me if some psychology student doesn’t write a pHD in this, for now though we will have to stick to what we know,


*chat up line


*comment on her profile

This thread is long enough without me blabbing on about opening lines to much and I’ll be honest this is taking a lot longer than I thought it would to type, in fact if anyones still reading this well done, i’m impressed but anyway, where was I, in brief you want your opening line to not be too serious, be witty and ideally not to creepy! if you’re really stuck my stock opener is “so whats your preferred opening line? Joke? Cheesy chat up line? compliment? Let me know as I’d hate to get off on the wrong foot!” it doesnt always work but its better than just “hey”. oh and when they say I want a joke/chat up line/compliment just google one, its a lot easier!

Now assuming you got some matches, used some opening lines and got chatting the 2 next obstacles are getting a phone number and getting a date.

Phone Number

The 2 easiest ways of getting a number are firstly lead the conversation to where someone has to send a photo (not like that you perv) something like this her “I’ve been shopping all weekend” you “buy anything nice?” her “yeah a new dress” you “sounds nice send me a photo” her “Ok whats your number?”

Boom winner. Again takes a bit of skill but is easy enough. If you’re not that confidant though try this trick, send each message twice, as in type it, copy text, click send, paste text, click send. Do this every time apologising saying your tinder messenger keeps fucking up then after a few times just say “I’m really sorry it keeps doing it, look, can I be really forward and just ask your number?” if she says yes bingo, if she says no at least you saved time!

getting a date

this is what we all downloaded tinder for, the big moment, you’ve matched with a girl, used an opening line she’s responded to, you’ve chatted for a day or two and now it’s time to take it to the next step. When it comes to this point there are a few things to remember

*you have both agreed you like each other from a physical point of view

*you have got some similar interests (assuming you haven’t been talking about the weather for past few days)(unless you are both meteorologists in which case fair play!)

*girls dig confident guys

*fuck it, chances are you’ve never met this girl and never will, you have NOTHING to lose!

So how do you ask a girl out on a date on tinder. Personally I try and pre-empt the negatives casually ask her if she’s got anything planned for the weekend (this way she cant say sorry I’m busy cos she’s told you she’s free), work out what scene she’s into and where she normally goes out, if she a metal head who loves moshing dont ask her out to your favourite indy bar. Chances are if you’ve been chatting you will have similar interests so do something you’ll both enjoy, if she’s into football take her to a match, if she loves history go to a museum, if she loves films do the cinema (personally I think this is a shit idea as sitting in silence for 2 hours with someone you don’t know I find really awkward! but each to their own!) what I’m saying is think outside the square if she’s hot chances are other guys she’s met on tinder have already taken her out so you need to do something different, again its about standing out! So once you have established she has no plans, you’ve thought of something cool to do and you both seem to be chatting this is what you say “hey so I was thinking, do you want to head to X on Yday? then if its museum or something follow it up with there’s an interesting exhibit, if its to see a band follow with I hear they’re really good and my friend has 2 spare tickets (only say that if you do have a friend who is willing to go then stand on his own whilst you work your charm!), if its football say it should be a good match etc just something which will make her think there’s more reason you want to go than just to get into her pants (which lets face it is the goal). this has taken about 2 hours to write so far so if she says no your on your own.

So I hope that helps, I apologise for all the spelling and grammatical errors also I really couldn’t be arsed to proof read it so if any bits don’t make sense let me know and I’ll edit it tomorrow or whenever. Also if you did read the whole of this, I hope it helped, if not I hope parts made you smile, if not sorry you’ve just wasted a whole chunk of your life, My Bad.

if you want to be successful on tinder have good photos, swipe loads, have good chat, be confident

Leave a Reply